Be an Influence- Challenge Yourself by Challenging and Influencing Others

We have all seen those people who seem to take your breath away because they have the ability to grab your attention the minute they walk into a room...You know who they are and I'll just bet there was a little bitty thought that came into your mind....why can't I be like that...???

Oh well, it's really okay, we have all been there and done that. Unfortunately, we are not all alike and it would not matter what we looked like, talked like or dressed like....some of us just do not have all it takes to make the crowd sit back and listen...right? I think so. But, that does not mean that we cannot learn to be a powerful and authoritative person, if we desire to.

Usually when you see people like the person mentioned above, they are nice people to be around. They automatically have a connection within themselves for influencing others without even trying really hard. They are motivated individuals, they do not sit back and wait for someone else to make things easy for them, they are trying to improve the situation at hand and they are set on getting it done, and there is no complaining about it. They are get it done people.

Basically, excellent influencing skills require a healthy combination of assertiveness, communication, presentation and interpersonal techniques to become really good at it. This means in business, in a relationship or whatever we are doing. We have to be aware of how we present our self to others and know exactly how we are preceived.

One does not have to change who they are. It is about adapting and making adjustments of your personal style when you become aware of the affect you are having or not having on other people. Our behaviour and attitude is sometimes what we have to work on but it does not mean you should change how you think or feel.

I once heard a manager say; it is my way or no way...this is how it is going to be done. It is the right way and there is no need for discussion. I think I have written somewhere a little about this. We all know that two sets of eyes are better than one. Two ways of saying things; gives you another perspective. But at the same time, when you are paying individuals to do a job; why would you want to spend extra dollars and man hours to have four to five people re-evaluate what was done by the first person and each person is revising what the last one did? The experience level pretty much equal. That is not influencing anyone. They may have the ability to get a job done by having a control method, intimidation or pressure, but when this happens they are not having a great influence on anyone and infact when anyone tries to force people to do what "they" want them to do regardless...it is not winning support and it will produce negative results and repercussions at some point.

I have worked with a lot of different personalities through the years. The most outstanding leadership difference after watching those who make a positive difference and influence in other peoples lives; compared to those who seem to think that their manipulation and force works better. I found that those leaders who were most impressive had the ability to acknowledge that everyone had a contribution to the team and should be respected for his/her knowledge. If they were unknowlegeable, they were given special consideration and given more training. There was no belittling, embarrassment, or humilation.

If you are intelligent; you do not have to voice it...the presentation of self confidence and how you treat others is key. The most intelligent person in the room may be the most timid. I read that just recently and it made a lot of sense. Sometimes very intelligent people are withdrawn and stay by themselves rather than being called a nerd. They are not always the loud mouth person who is always letting everybody know they know everything. The person who is seeking to become a positive influence to others; becomes someone who has adapted the ability to reach out to others to make someone else shine and give credit where and when it is due.

Expects more of themself, than more of others- meaning they are aware that how they perform and react in most circumstances, is more important than how others perform and act. Their performance effects their associates. If they are hostile, loud, unorganized, sloppy, unprofessional, intimidating and the like...it will give out the sense that this behaviour is tolerated.

Self Confident - yet meek- When an individual has confidence in what they are trying to accomplish, they produce a calm, glowing appearance with a smile and body language of the ability to get a job done.

Friendly and mix in crowd - A self confident person actually does not have to impress anyone; they have the ability to mix in any crowd, to all the crowd, not just the most influential ones and their friendliness is "geniune".

They are not Fake - You can spot a fake a mile off. If anyone is serious about really becoming influential to others and making "good" lasting impressions...they are not caught up in acting the "look who I am" act but in the reality are very serious about the project at hand and how their lives affect others.

Integrity - There is little explanation for this needed...completeness.....

Congenial - They are friendly, compatible, agreeable, adaptive, consistent, gracious, pleasant, pleasing, mellow, sociable, cooperative, cordial, sympathetic, favorable, jovial, kind, considerate, approachable, gentle, and happy......

I hope I haven't left anything out...but I probably have. You might be thinking, there isn't any way anyone can be all of this stuff.....

Okay, ...I agree it is something that would take some personal growth for anyone and would be an education in its self. But, I will also say that is why we do not see as many people who have that special ability to attract success, bring people together and INFLUENCE OTHERS IN A WAY THAT IS INSPIRING...AND CATCHING......THINK ABOUT IT...I SURELY AM!