Why Do Spouses Cheat

We all know someone who has been through relationship issues and it seems that there is always a list of excuses which crop up as the reason for the extra martial affair. Somebody got mad at somebody and just decided to be unfaithful.

I have heard excuses like; he/she was not paying me any attention, my husband was not being good to me; my wife did not keep her weight down, my wife was not careful about her dress and makeup; we had no intimacy, and my husband liked to go out with his friends too much. Our love faded, he didn't respect me, she was always fussing at me, she spent too much money and he just did not show affection anymore or never did. The list goes on.

This is what I have learned about affairs from several angles and avenues. I have seen lives destroyed and relationships not mendable. I think that television has influenced our country in many ways that is not good and this is one of them. Jumping into a intimate situation with anyone, now days....is okay for some. A one night stand is nothing rare and can cause more trouble than they are worth and sometimes create new lives which have to suffer from someones simple whim. It has gotten to the place that it is okay for someone to cheat as long as they don't get caught. Well, not so. It isn't and shouldn't be okay and yes, there is always an excuse. Not actually, but you hear them anyway. Most importantly, there is always consequencies. The consequencies are sometimes very great and children have to suffer loss of one parent or the other for merely bad judgement.

It seems that men (guys, I know that all of you are not like this) in some circumstances just can't help themselves. If some nice looking woman gives them a cue; they fall into temptation and it was fun...until the woman gets serious and then he has his hands full trying to tell her it was a mistake and he can't leave his wife because she has a mental problem or something similiar. Or, either he would loose his financial status with paying alimony and child support and everything he has acquired up until that point. Bottom line is ladies;;;;;;he isn't going to leave his wife....for any reason....so you need to get a grip and stop being attracted to married men. It is not healthy. It appears that women will leave their husbands quicker than men will leave their wives. You can tell me if I am wrong about the latter.

Of course it is not always the lady that makes a remark to get it going nor vice versa. There seems to be a pattern sometimes for people who do these kinds of things. Sometimes it appears to be legitimate reasons for straying but in my book, you want to date, you should end your marriage and then proceed. If you do not love your spouse; you are not being fair to them to pretend you do and have someone on the side. I am not advising anyone to do anything and especially divorce, but it is at least the decent thing to do and better than cheating on your spouse. Actually, better yet; go see a therapist, life coach or your minister and try to make things lively again in your marriage. Cheating is never the right solution to any of the EXCUSES and if you once loved your mate; it is possible to revive that again, if you desire.

What does cheating do to the injuried party? It makes them feel disrespected, deprived, violated, unworthy, unattractive, unimportant, and totally without adoration. Why, for some reason most of us think that when we married our spouse it was because they loved us first, they respected us, they honored us and we are worthy to be their spouse and we were obviously attractive in some way. The latter part being the least important.

This is just my perception: I think a lot of time these kinds of things could be avoided if both people in a relationship remember that respect is always in order for a marriage to grow. Consideration is another factor that is important, being polite and kind, giving always care to how you respond to your spouse even in times of disagreements. Yes, I feel that women should be conscious of their physical bodies because you were when you were dating. It is never a good idea to gain too much weight, for one it is not healthy, two you can't wear your current clothes....three it won't be an excuse.

Gentlemen, women love romance. Nothing all that fancy just to be caressed and a simple I'm still in love with you.  Women need to feel special I think, special in the sense that they are still as important in your life as they were the first month of marriage.  Women love flowers, breakfast in bed just like you.  They love to feel a part of your life in every essense and know that their view of things is important to you. 

I am not a therapist and do not claim to be but as I have stated, it seems that nothing good comes from relationships of this nature. I am blunt about this because no matter what the excuses are; it should be handled differently. I think that we have all had a climpse of Tiger Woods and John Edwards. Also the guy that met his soul mate..I don't want to remember his name..I wanted to be embarrassed for him since he had so little respect.

I hope I haven't affended anyone, this is just purely my take on such behavior...but what can I say...the truth will set you free...

N E V E R, E V E R!